Dear Friend,
Tomorrow, February 9, 2007, marks the twenty year anniversary of the death of two and one half year old Rachel Elizabeth Johnson. Rachel was my sister Mary’s first child.
A month or so ago. in working on my own 2007 calendar, I realized to my surprise that we were soon coming up on this 20 year anniversary. Then, shortly after that, I came upon some old photo albums my mom had put together of the first grandkids when they were young. Suddenly I had all these pictures of Rachel. Hmmmm.
So I talked to my sister and we decided together that putting together a “set” of pictures in Rachel’s memory on my Flickr site would be good and appropriate. So I have stayed late many days at the office going through these old albums, scanning pictures, trying to fix some of them that had faded or become discolored, and hoping to reach a goal of 100 pictures by the 9th. With my sister’s help I reached that goal yesterday.
Rachel’s death was very sudden, as she was overcome by a bacterial infection that invaded her body, and which looked like the flu or a stomach bug until it was too late. Almost all the organs of her body had been laid waste by this infection. She never had a chance.
It is hard to put into words the sense of loss and devastation of that day and that week. Rachel was the first grandchild in the family, born about a month before my oldest daughter Shannon. Rachel was the apple of my parent’s eye. She was a lively and inquisitive and lovely child.
I don’t think there is anything in life so terrible as to lose one’s child. It was hard enough for the rest of us. My parents were devastated beyond words. I suppose that some of the sorrow felt by the rest of us was sorrow not just in Rachel’s death and thus our own loss, but the pain of knowing how deeply this death had cut into the hearts not only of Mary and Sandy, but of my parents, and Sandy’s parents. It was beyond articulating.
There is a kind of grief without hope that goes beyond coping. Thankfully, my sister Mary and her husband Sandy were and are solid Christians with a strong and real trust in God, and a true Christian hope. Despite Rachel’s age, and all the nagging questions that accompany such terrible things, she not only was a covenant child, but also a child who seemed even as a little girl to have a lively and real faith in her own right. Thus the devastation was accompanied and diminished somewhat by our common hope.
My daughter Shannon was born about four weeks after Rachel, and as we all lived in Columbia at the time, Shannon and Rachel were together a lot. Rachel would be just about 22 ½ were she still alive today.
Mary said to me when we were thinking about this that she wanted her friends and family who knew Rachel to remember her, and those who did not know her to have a glimpse of this dear life that had lived so briefly on this earth, and which had had such a huge impact on my family. Mary did not, and does not, want the memory of her first child forgotten.
Similarly I want to share this part of my life with those who may know me. These things never “go away.” They remain with us; they are always in the background. They impact our personalities and spirits in many ways. One cannot know my sister, nor can one know me either, without knowing this part of our lives.
So this is my tribute to my niece Rachel, and to my sister Mary and her husband Sandy, and in a way to all of us who were so much a part of the life of this little precious person.
In Memory of Rachel Elizabeth Johnson.Joel
Taken in early 1950's. Maurine Gillespie, my mom. I was not born yet so obviously I did not take the picture. It was damaged but I cleaned it up as best as I could with my limited skills in that area. This is my single favorite photo of my mom.
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