Husbands and Wives

In the spirit of seeing how successful I can be at irritating my neighbors (just kidding), I thought I would present the outline for my sermon this coming Sunday taken from the book of Ephesians, chapter 5, verses 22-33. This past Sunday I set up this coming week’s message by expositing the passage just before. We are in the middle of a mini-series on the seventh commandment (though shall not commit adultery) which itself is apart of a longer series on the ten commandments. This is a bunny trail, one of many. The message of this passage is a great offence to modern sensibilities, but backward bible believing folk do take it seriously. Thought I’d see if there were any constructive comments to be gained from you out there. Here it is:

Sermon Outline

The Seventh Commandment V b: Ephesians 5:22-33

Husbands and Wives: Christ and the Church

A. The Structure:

1. A word to wives: verses 22-24
2. A word to husbands verses 25-30
3. A closing summary: verses 31-33

B. The First Section: Verses 22-24: The Injunction to Wives

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

1. The verb “submit” is absent. It is carried over from verse 21. OK, what is meant by the word “submit”? Look to verse 24.
2. This submission is to be rendered to the woman’s own husband.
3. How is this submission a “Christian” act? It is done “as to the Lord” (see Ephesians 5:21, Colossians 3:18 and 3:23, and Romans 13:1).
4. What is the reason given for this submission to the husband? The husband is head of the wife. The basis of this headship is rooted in the story of creation, of the creation of Eve from Adam to be his suitable helper.
5. What is the deeper meaning of this headship? The husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the church.
6. So what does this mean for the woman? As the church submits to Christ her head, so the woman submits to her husband, her head.
7. To what extent? In everything. What might not be included in “in everything”?

C. The Second Section: Verses 25-30: The Injunction to Husbands

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.

1. Husbands are to love their wives. How is this love a Christian act? Because they are to love, or agape, their wives, as Christ loved the church.
2. How did Christ love the church? He gave Himself up for her. This is a reference to His self giving sacrificial death on the cross, a death which was followed by the resurrection and giving of the Spirit, and which had the Church’s full and complete salvation in view.
3. As Christ is the head of the church and loves the church, as his body, so husbands are to love their wives, as their own bodies.
4. Is Christ’s love for the Church a selfish love?
5. Is the husband’s love for his wife a selfish love?
6. In nourishing and cherishing His body, the church, Christ is bringing her back into the fullness of what she was meant and called to be, which makes her more beautiful in herself, and more beautiful as His bride.
7. In nourishing and cherishing his wife, the husband is encouraging her to be the fullness of what she was meant and called to be, which makes her more beautiful in herself, and more beautiful as His bride.

D. The Third Section: Verses 31-32: The Mystery

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

1. The “one flesh” of the physical union of the husband and wife is a picture of the “union” of Christ and the Church.
2. The mystery in Ephesians is the mystery of God’s saving purposes in Christ and how that history would culminate in the union of Christ and his people (both Jew and Gentile united together as “one man”) in a renewed earth.
3. Yet also there is a hint that the “two becoming one” is itself a mystery, and the manner in which this pictures the union of Christ and the church is a mystery.

E. The Summary: Verse 33

33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

1. The injunction to the husband is repeated in shorter form.
2. The injunction to the woman is changed from “submit” to “respect” (both/and).

F. A Few Thoughts

1. Wives, concentrate on what the Lord says to you; husbands concentrate on what the Lord says to you. Do not let your duty be contingent on the other.
2. Yet, it is easier for wives to submit to and respect their husbands when their husbands are loving them, and it is easier for husbands to love their wives when their wives are submitting to and respecting them.
3. Husbands tend either (or both) to be overly passive about their spiritual headship or selfishly insistent on their authority. Wives tend either (or both) to be overly touchy about submission or inadequately committed to the suitable helper role.
4. Yet, I think the best marriage relationships in our culture are egalitarian in practice and hierarchal in principle – good communication, shared decisions, mutual respect, love, and submission, but with a proper sense of headship under girding it all.
5. Good marriage relationships also practice gift-appropriate division of labor.
6. In good marriages each spouse’s gifts and interests and hobbies are encouraged.